I didn’t mean to buy bison tongue.

The package said Bison Heart & heart is one of the organ meats I’ve semi-mastered.

In that I know how to cook it (in Sunday Stew) & I’ve accepted that is yummy.

I’m still a little squeamish about the ventricles & aortas & whatnot, but heart is within my slowly-expanding offal repertoire.

Which isn’t too bad considering I just launched myself (reluctantly but resolutely) into organ meats 2 months ago.

I bought this particular package of heart because it was twice as big as the others. I thought that what I had was a less-manicured organ & that this would be a perfect chance for me to really grapple with the aorta situation. That was courageous, I thought.

So I was fully expecting something a little more disquieting than the well-trimmed hearts I’d previously encountered. I even recruited Matthew to take some photos to document my bravery. But what I found inside the package was a little too alarming.

I bailed.

Right from the outset.

Luckily Matthew is not so squeamish. It took us a little while to figure out that what we had was actually a humungous ruminant tongue, and not a heart at all. The whole thing was covered in tongue bumps & felt just like a cat’s tongue (Matthew made me feel it, and I couldn't really say no, after all my earlier bravado).

But even though I was super-impressed with his fortitude in processing the tongue, when it came to cooking it, I wimped out again. No doubt he would have cooked it, but one of the primary undiagnosed symptoms he is dealing with right now is severe nausea. And cooking isn’t conducive to his attempts at being functional. So I wasn't going to ask him.

I was all prepared to make a bison heart stew in the slow cooker, but I had no idea what to do with this monstrous tongue.

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Take the Assessment

I kind of freaked out for a while.

Then I tried ignoring the situation and let the tongue just sit there on the cutting board.

Finally I just accepted that I wasn’t ready for tongue.

I buried it.

And that’s the whole, awkward story of how I’m still an offal wimp.

I'm an offal hero when it comes to bison liver, though. Read that gripping narrative (& find an excellent entry-level recipe) here.

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